Identify burnt out, union-prone, or remote workers using artificial intelligence

De-employ workers instantly by sending a "you're fired" meme, silently revoking their credentials, or with Tesla Auto-Immolate™ interop _{(costs extra)}

Painlessly predict the smallest settlement possible to silence victims of sexual harassment

Proprietary BlackBox™ technology launders your technoking instinct to limit liability

Dynamically scale your workforce to adapt to the ever-changing needs of your ongoing market manipulation

NEW: Fire monkeys via brain implants with nearly 35% survivability